I used to be a lover. In my early teens, I learned to appreciate all the things that bring love to me, whether it’s my family, my high school crush, or even a single kiss of a gentle breeze that blows the morning dew from the sycamore tree down to the tiny petals of a dandelion flower that sways with the wind on the blooming field. Am sure it did not make sense to you. Well, me neither. But you know what, I used to write these nonsense before, and man, I was nailing it! I just don’t know what happened after. I guess, I grew up.
Yes. I was a weirdo when I was in high school. Not that kind that is being bullied everyday by their classmates. Am just your average weirdo guy sitting at the corner wanted to not be noticed. It turns out, there was no acting or plans required. I just sit there all by myself and presto! I am alone in my own surreal world.
I did not do illegal drugs and will never be taking them. I am neither a psychopath nor a creepy stalker. During my ups and downs in high school, I wrote fictional stories, poetries and even lyrics. They were my escape from the real world.
I know you are confused right now as to where this article is going. No worries I can sense the inconsistency as well. Okay. I am not talking about my whole high school life story here or my boring teenage life. This story is about this young, confused and not-that-good-looking guy. How he fall in love and then fell out of it. Or so he thought.
Let’s start on how he got struck by the cupid’s dart on his first day of being a freshman. Since it was their first day at school, they were given a seating arrangement. He was placed at the 3rd row from the front and 2 seats away from the window just beside the lake. It was a comfortable place to be. The next thing that happened was a moment that is now a permanent mark on his mind. He was transitioning from a boy to becoming a man. It was that time he started to notice that girls are not just another type of human beings. They are indeed a masterpiece of every artwork a man can create, the epitome of beauty and sophistication, and the light to any man’s dark paths.
For him, she is the most beautiful girl in the world. Her smile is one of the precious gems that he ever seen. And one thing that he loves the most about her, is the way she blushes when he teases her. She became her inspiration and motivation to study hard and write harder.
Yes. He became a hopeless romantic, weirdo but in love kind of guy. In his 4 years of stay in that school, he never, for just a second, run out of feelings for her. She was his first crush and his first love. If you are asking if she told the girl that he adored her, yes he did. If you are thinking if he courted her, in someway, somehow. If you wanted to know if they got together, nope. It’s a real world, so fantasies are not so common. And also, let’s admit it, he is ugly and she is incredibly beautiful, plus he is gay so it’s a double negative points for him. But no worries, they become friends, until now. That’s right. Welcome to the never-ending world of friend zone. But what more could he asked for? He survived high school and college with flying colors and she is one of the reasons why he is what he is today. And for that, he is thankful.
Alright, let’s go back to the present time. The time where he is slowly realizing that he needs somebody to love. It’s true that he has an astounding career and he is on the right path to fulfilling his dreams, but he is still behind his younger self. He does not want to admit but he envy himself few years back. He needs a one of a kind inspiration and motivation to write again. Most of all, he wanted to be that hopeless romantic and weirdo but in love kind of guy he used to be. He may be gay, but he still long to be that guy again.
Sigh. I dunno what to write next. In that case, am going to stop. Till next time, peeps!
SchizoGuy Journ To The World 