Real Post 134 – I, Counting on the Rain

What soothes you the most from the pain and sorrow this world has brought? What keeps you calm and gets your head to cool? What conceals your sadness and washes away the emptiness that your heart feels? Is it something cold yet clear, tastes neither sweet nor bitter? Something like liquid, a water, or a drop of RAIN?

It’s rainy season once again. Wet socks and slippery roads, umbrellas are unfolding, big and small. Dusty staircases are now sweep clean by water. Most of all, raindrops are dancing on your roofs, blocking all those irrelevant noises and making you listen to a single and rhythmic sound, letting your ear concentrate to that beautiful march of tiny drops of tears from heaven until you fall asleep.

I don’t know why the sound of the raindrops calm my soul but I like it. The way they drop on the roof or just the plain sound of them as they come near me is blissfully amazing. The rhymes and rhythms they make are naturally choreographed that makes me imagine of graceful dancers on the peak of their performances or a well-orchestrated opera on the heights of their pieces. It is just incredibly wonderful and absolutely fantastic!

On a mellow note, rain is my therapy. It makes me calm and keeps me cool. Just listening to them wipes away whatever bad vibes I have. It relaxes me to the deepest part of my subconscious mind as I fall asleep. The greatest thing about rain is it will always cover my tears and washes away my pain, making me smile as it slowly stops until the sun shines again.

Truly, the heat of the sun strengthens me and keeps my mind focus on whatever goal I set, but whenever I get sad or feel blue, I can always count on the rain. 

Photo credit to: mattgerrardonline.wordpress.com

Real Post 122 – I Am Genuinely Crazy…And I Love It!

Have you got into the point in your life where you lose focus and direction? Have you got this feeling that you want to do everything you wanted in an instant? Literally, all of them at one time and on that very moment. Some of them may say that it is just a bad effect of lacking some sleep. I cannot fucking believe them and am gonna say otherwise. I just cannot figure out what exactly it is but I am sure it is not because of my lack of sleep. And by the way, when I said ‘some of them,’ it is just a part of my brain that is talking. Oh my God! Am getting insane and I am just laughing on it. 

I am a self-righteous person most of the time. Almost all of my words being spoken are measured and well deliberated since I got bursting ideas running on my mind. This is the reason why some thoughts are better written than spoken. At least, it may be printed or circulated, but not marked into someone’s mind and remembered for life. I hate myself for being self-righteous that there are times that even in writing, I am choosing the words that I am gonna type. I am such a hypocrite and I am laughing on it. 

I remembered taking an online test about psychoanalysis. I am not sure if the results are verified and accurate but it said that I am mentally healthy yet the second time around I am severely bipolar. This can’t be good. Why do they have contradicting results? Well, you cannot blame the internet. After all, this is one of the mediums where people are misinformed. But my guess was that I am too clever in choosing my answers on that test. Who knows what was on my mind when I took the exam? Hell, I cannot even remember it now. 

So you see, I am one insane, self-righteous hypocrite. But that is not all, I can be a schizo, a multipolar and a genius at the same time; and I am laughing myself out loud now. Hoaw! I love to play with letters, words, phrases and sentences. I admit Englisg is not mu native language and I am sure I got a lot of grammatical errors from the start, but who cares, as long as I can express myself. 

On a serious note though, I am a bit worried about myself. What if I am literally crazy? Like those people who are out in the streets talking to themselves then arguing with their discussion at the same time. There ia just a thin line between sanity and crazy, after all. Who would care for me? Who will give me food when I get hungry and comfort me if I get stinky? Most of all, who will take good care of my family? If you will ask me, it is better to die than get crazy. At least when you’re dead, you will probably feel nothing. 

On a second thought, being crazy has a good thing. You will not know it, unless of course you will get flashes of sanity once in a while. But I do not want that. If I will be get crazy, I want it to be severe. I want it to the point that there is no going out from it, no recovery, so that everyone else’s lives will go on. It is like shutting your humanity off if you are a vampire (that’s what they said in the Vampite Diaries, right? Sorry, am just a fan). I believe it will be a win-win situation (and this phrase is brought to you by ‘Letters to Juliet’ movie. I just can’t help putting some cheesy drama in my post.)

I got one question for you. How would you know that you are crazy? I am writing these bunch of nonsense for almost an hour now and I can’t figure it out yet. I think there is a part of me saying that I am getting crazy and it is giving me a heads up. Do I need to go see a psychiatrist now? I am laughing my ass out here as a way of coping it because I do not understand the point of what I am writing the entire time. This whole post is no sense whatsoever and has no precise context. After all, I just wanted to write, and I did. And I fucking love it! 

The only thing that is not comfy is me circling around my bed with my laptop and phone trying to finish this post. 

And by the way, have a solemn Holy Week.