Real Post 151 – Hi, It’s Me Again. How Are YOU?

It’s been a wild ride these past couple of years. Few things in the bucket list have been checked – experiences I enjoyed so much that I want to do it again, and some that clearly needs to happen once in a lifetime.

One certain thing I regret though, was not letting you know about how I’ve been. But rest assured, I’ve cherished every moment – the triumphs and failures, happiness and sadness, lives and deaths that came passed me. All the learnings and opportunities that came knocking – the yes’ and no’s of life.

And so, am here again.

I’m turning 30 by the way. Not for another 6 months or so, but just want to let you know, coz it’s important to what am about to tell you.

First, am building a house of my dreams!

Well, not me personally, but my Popsi and Momsi are the ones overseeing the construction in the province while am here in Manila. But still, this is one important milestone for me. Am not here to boast about it, maybe a bit, however you need to understand it’s almost a decade in the making in my mind. Before I went here in the city to work, I set a goal – get my own room by the age of 30.

Second, my Momsi said it’s okay to be gay!

I’ve been going back and forth for the past year in the province, and everytime her and I had a conversation, a grand child is being slipped into. Of course I’d say no coz it’s gonna be difficult for me to give her an apo knowing that am not into women who can get pregnant, unless she also considers my plan of adopting a kid in the future. She’d always say, “It’s okay. Just do you, but am still hopeful for you to have a baby. You are just 30.”

Third, my Popsi and Momsi, as always, supports me!

There are times in our lives that we think coz we are already adult, we do things our way and make decisions alone. I recently realized, no matter where you are in life, seeking for advise from your friend, family or loved ones is never a bad move. As a matter of fact, it can save you from your impending doom. Just to give you a clearer scenario, the decision I made so hastily was gonna be my burden for years, which likely gonna make me crazy or land in jail. Not to mention can create altercations between our friends and family. It was a huge relief for me to backtrack that decision. I did not expect that I would cry in front of my parents at this age, but it turned out to be a beautiful relevation – my folks will always be there to provide me guidance, for as long as they live. All I need to do is ask for it. As I wiped the tears in my eyes that day, my Popsi did say, “Travel as far as you can go. Do the things that your heart wish. Live your life, for you only have one.” Then he walked away, while cleaning the fog that formed in his eyeglasses with his shirt. “You are only 30.”

So you see, it’s been a wild ride for me. I realized 3 important things just recently…

1. It’s never too early nor too late to set a goal. Keep it present, even just in your mind. Then make it happen.

2. Give more credit than you think they deserve for the people who truly loves you. Communicate with them, for there’s no clearer way to receive an answer other than by asking for it.

3. Life does not stop giving you lessons when you feel like you know how the world works. For mistakes can easily be made whether you are 6 or 60. And there is nothing wrong if you wanted to cry in front of people if you are feeling down, whether you are 3 or 30. You never know, they might be the one to cheer you up, or change your future.

Now that you know what I’ve been going through, how about you?

How are you doing?

Real Post 108 – Write, right?

Hi guys.

I don’t know what to say. I mean, its been a while since I wrote my last blog, and that was pretty intense. Gloomy and dull to be exact. Its been a year so I was so over with it.

Anyway, this is my first blog for the year 2014, technically. I never thought I was that occupied for the last 2 months. What a shame of not getting myself a break in between.

First and foremost, Happy New Year everyone and Happy Valentines too! I really hope you did get your New Year’s Resolution because its been tough for me to achieve it. I am still working on it and I still got everyday to earn it. Words from a hopeless man, what can you say.

Let me share the reason why I was so excited to write a blog today before it slip my mind. What can I do? Got a memory of a goldfish so its better to have it documented.

 I was on the bathroom cleaning myself and letting the hotness of the weather out of my system when the idea of writing came into my mind. Its like a flashing bolt of light that stroked my head. An orgasm of thoughts that wants to be spitted out of your trembling senses. Its like climaxing but less the effort and the sweat. It makes me feel that there is something missing in my life. It makes me realize that I still got a purpose in life, a vital one. Writing. To write.

This idea sealed a smile on my lips. Its ecstatic! The thing is, I got few left-overs on my table. They are all important in their own way. What I am thinking is that I need to finish them, one way or the other.

For some it may be trash or just a waste of time, but for those who understand, it is another masterpiece waiting to be discovered. A concealed part of the future’s history and literature. It may become famous or just another story that everybody will forget. But still, its an intelligence coming from an imagination, a beautiful mind.

I love it when I persuade myself to go forward and work my ass out. But who else will if not yourself, right? I was so tired doing others a favor even if it is against my own will. It stresses me, big time. It is coming to an extent that I am forgetting why I am here in the first place. I was not born to impress others. Too much of the hypocrisy!

Sorry if I am getting out of the context. Must be my other self. Always argumentative and negative. Just kidding.

Okay, so the reason I want to write is just simple. I want to write. I long to express myself in a mixture of words. It gives me a huge relief seeing myself not thinking of anything but writing. Like right now, I am being drowned by words, phrases and sentences that I almost forgot the love I have for Harry Potter or the noise from the streets that adds to the pollution and global warming.

Oh God! I miss this thing more than sex. This is way better and less prone to diseases, literally.

I still need to finish a lot of things. My novels that been sitting on my hard drive for years. The poems on my notes that needs to be refined. I got plenty on my bucket list but there is no need to stress myself out. Writing is a lot like love as what they say. It needs time to flourish and it will blossoms at the right time. Its a passion so there is no need to hurry. Its a masterpiece and it needs to reach its perfection. It will be done in time. I just need to be patient and learn how to wait.

Just need to live one day at a time and smell the roses.

I just got defeated by my sleepy eyes and yawning mouth. I guess I need to go and dream once more. So long my friends.

Till we meet again. – by the way, that’s my other self interrupting again. Just kidding.